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Monday, February 16, 2015

IRONY

When money makes you selfish.
When pride beats your humanity.
When you know but you don't care.
When you are able to stop it, but you just wait.. while she suffers..

Are we all cursed?
For being so apathetic?
Even to our own family?
To our own mother?
Our own wife?

Put your prestige down
Offer your genuine intention
Do not wait to be asked
When you know what you should do

Don't let conceit makes a regret for the rest of your life.

Please do care
Please ask her
Please remind him

I hate myself for just talking about how much I hate it and do nothing else.

Bismillah, help us get through this..
Let your guidance be upon us as a family
Aamiin..

We believe in You.

Friday, February 6, 2015

I'm a generalist

I'm an ENFJ and I'm getting more and more certain that I'm a generalist. I like to see the bigger picture of everything. I want to know what is on the finish line of what we are going to do. Scrutinizing on details perfectly would not make any change if the duct clogged up.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Lacking sensitivity

2014 is ending and I'm not feeling alright. I still can't maintain a good relationship with my parents. I still avoid them and run away when they mock at me. I still have that 'gengsi' feeling to congratulate them directly on special occasions like Christmas that my mom celebrated two days ago. I also didn't say happy birthday to my dad last year or two years ago (I forgot). I found that I'm getting more stolid these past few years. What happened to me? How can I leave this house with them feeling sad and left out? How can I be a good mother in the future? Maybe I'm just too long being out of their reach. Too few communications we made every year thus it made my apathy got worse.

My mother is sick, and I don't want to regret myself by suffering her more with my bad attitude. From now on, I promise myself to change and do the best I can give to her. Make her happy to boost her spirit to heal faster! Bismillah, I beg your guidance ya Allah..

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Viva Forever - Spice Girls

Do you still remember 
How we used to be 
Feeling together, believe in whatever 
My love has said to me 

Both of us were dreamers 
Young love in the sun 
Felt like my saviour, my spirit I gave ya 
We'd only just begun 

Hasta Manana, 
Always be mine 

Viva forever, I'll be waiting 
Everlasting, like the sun 
Live forever, 
For the moment 
Ever searching for the one 

Yes I still remember, 
Every whispered word 
The touch of your skin, giving life from within 
Like a love song that I'd heard

Slipping through our fingers, 
Like the sands of time 
Promises made, every memory saved 
Has reflections in my mind 

Hasta Manana, 
Always be mine 

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live forever,
For the moment
Ever searching for the one

Back where I belong now, 
Was it just a dream 
Feelings unfold, they will never be sold 
And the secret's safe with me 

Hasta Manana, 
Always be mine 

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live forever,
For the moment
Ever searching for the one

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live forever,
For the moment
Ever searching for the one

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Sia-sia

Sejenak merasa tak berguna.
Sekian lama mengerjakan hal sia-sia.

Tak sempat tunjukkan hasil.
Dalam sekejap sistem berganti.
Hampir seluruh tanggung jawabku lalu beralih.

Pasrah turuti aturan.
Tak berani nyatakan yang telah dikerjakan.
Semua sudah di luar kuasaku sekarang.

Hanya bisa menunggu.
Menyaksikan mereka berkutat.
Tertekan karena tak bisa berbuat.
Padahal akhir sudah dekat.

Terkesan gaji buta.
Padahal aku berusaha.

Merisaukan yang telah lalu.
Memikirkan yang tak perlu.