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Saturday, December 27, 2014

Lacking sensitivity

2014 is ending and I'm not feeling alright. I still can't maintain a good relationship with my parents. I still avoid them and run away when they mock at me. I still have that 'gengsi' feeling to congratulate them directly on special occasions like Christmas that my mom celebrated two days ago. I also didn't say happy birthday to my dad last year or two years ago (I forgot). I found that I'm getting more stolid these past few years. What happened to me? How can I leave this house with them feeling sad and left out? How can I be a good mother in the future? Maybe I'm just too long being out of their reach. Too few communications we made every year thus it made my apathy got worse.

My mother is sick, and I don't want to regret myself by suffering her more with my bad attitude. From now on, I promise myself to change and do the best I can give to her. Make her happy to boost her spirit to heal faster! Bismillah, I beg your guidance ya Allah..

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Viva Forever - Spice Girls

Do you still remember 
How we used to be 
Feeling together, believe in whatever 
My love has said to me 

Both of us were dreamers 
Young love in the sun 
Felt like my saviour, my spirit I gave ya 
We'd only just begun 

Hasta Manana, 
Always be mine 

Viva forever, I'll be waiting 
Everlasting, like the sun 
Live forever, 
For the moment 
Ever searching for the one 

Yes I still remember, 
Every whispered word 
The touch of your skin, giving life from within 
Like a love song that I'd heard

Slipping through our fingers, 
Like the sands of time 
Promises made, every memory saved 
Has reflections in my mind 

Hasta Manana, 
Always be mine 

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live forever,
For the moment
Ever searching for the one

Back where I belong now, 
Was it just a dream 
Feelings unfold, they will never be sold 
And the secret's safe with me 

Hasta Manana, 
Always be mine 

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live forever,
For the moment
Ever searching for the one

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live forever,
For the moment
Ever searching for the one

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Sia-sia

Sejenak merasa tak berguna.
Sekian lama mengerjakan hal sia-sia.

Tak sempat tunjukkan hasil.
Dalam sekejap sistem berganti.
Hampir seluruh tanggung jawabku lalu beralih.

Pasrah turuti aturan.
Tak berani nyatakan yang telah dikerjakan.
Semua sudah di luar kuasaku sekarang.

Hanya bisa menunggu.
Menyaksikan mereka berkutat.
Tertekan karena tak bisa berbuat.
Padahal akhir sudah dekat.

Terkesan gaji buta.
Padahal aku berusaha.

Merisaukan yang telah lalu.
Memikirkan yang tak perlu.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Work Issue

Heeeyyyy blogggg!! I'm missing you so so much! :3

I am facing a problem at work right now. My boss said that this was an emergency.. and my team is the troublemaker. I've been blaming a lot on other person lately while also feeling guilty.

A team is a team. Clients will always value you as one. They do not care whatever happened in your team, they only ask for a result. As a junior, I felt depended on my senior. I expected to be guided and corrected.. but the scenario was not like what I thought before. Ambiguous condition occured and I kept optimistic. Too optimistic to not search for and give backup solutions. I assumed that everything was handled with care when there was no request for help. When my questions were unanswered, I left with faith on them.. which was wrong. Now I know that offering help and asking progress are not as important as reminding our team of our obligations. And when we are faced with complaints and critics, we have to elaborate our positive value that we have made and done with ascertainty and not to succumb to the circumstance and lose with no defense.

I have learned the lessons. The last thing to consider in applying it is a positive attitude in facing our team mate which have led us to client's complaints.

Please move faster, respond! Be effective and efficient, focus, and don't be lazy! If you don't know, ask! Don't waste your time on futile things! Be smart! Finally, keep your promises! Let's prefer discussion to repeated monologues!

Friday, July 18, 2014

abduction
abound
abuse
accentuate
accountability
affluent
albeit
allegation
amicably
amid
amiss
amity
ascertain
assuaged
assure
aspire
authoritarian
avenge

bottleneck
candidness
circumstance
clique
coherent
cohesion
commonality
common sense
comprehensive
compromise
compulsory
confront
consensus
containment
contend
conviction
convinced
cope
cornerstone
credential
cued

decent
decisive (read: desaysiv)
decompress
deficit
derailed
designate
destabilize
detention
dictatorship
disarmament
dispute
disrupt
divert
dividend
doable
dossier
draw down

elite
eloquent
emerging
enforcement
engage
enigma
espoused
extremist

foiling
forefront
fraudulent
frigate

hideous
imposed
infamous
inimical
instructive
intractable
invoke
irreversible

judicial
just
leveled
livelihood

malicious
momentous
mongering
means
moderation

notorious
ordeal
overseeing
onslaught
overcome
overshadow

perpetrate
placidly
pragmatic
presidency
propulsion
populous
preoccupied
prevalent
proliferation
persist
proponent
promulgate
ponder

ratify
reciprocal
reconciliation
rectify
reign
reinvented
retrospect
resort
reinforcing
robust

sovereign
secluded
sense
stationed
scrutiny
supremacy
succumb
scot-free
shortcoming
shortage
smuggling
solicit
summit

tackle
treaty
trial
tumble
turmoil
timely

underway
unparalleled
underscore
underprivileged
unrest

vicinity
voluntarily
wedging
withdrawn