what do i want to do with my life?

what i want to do with my life (right now)?

random keywords: music, make up, travelling, enterpreneurship --> dunno why but at this moment i somehow feel like i wanna do one or more of it for life

this year has been hard for me. i fought for my final project for almost a year now. and now i'm losing my spirit and my intention to end it up. the more little time i have and the harder the obstacles; the more it makes me think: is this what i really want in life? is this worth it?? 

few months lately, i took almost everyday thinking about my future. what my real passion is, what do i want to do with my life. i just realized that i had never thought about it. and now i realize that i'm still questioning about my dream. i thought everyone on earth has a dream, at least. but why am i so confuse just to know it?? 

i was a docile child. i was always do what my parents told me. maybe it's because i was so afraid of my dad. he easily gets angry and easily hurting physically. maybe i am still now that docile child. i'm always trying to be like what they expect me to be. and now i feel lost. should i blame it all? i should have thought about this five years ago.

please make it clear, god. at least, with make it easier for me to end this final project first to lighten up my mind. i'm waiting for your answer soon. i believe in you, god.